As a freelance/independent worker just starting out, everyday can take a turn for the worse because every thought and emotion will be amplified. The worst thing you can do when this happens is to give in to the echoes in your head.
Because you have to prove to yourself every single day that choosing to ‘work for yourself’* isn’t a mistake, it’s very easy to spiral into paralysing self-doubt.
I’ve been feeling the pressure almost every single day since almost a year ago, and continue to suffer from it once in a while, because I too have yet to prove to myself that it’s not a mistake (ie. I haven’t made much money yet).
While self-doubt serves its purpose in nudging us to reevaluate and reposition if necessary, it needs to be put in its place. Learn the simple fact that the negative thoughts and emotions that accompany your day are just alarms. They have an ‘off’ switch.
I try my best to recognise the onset of self-doubt everyday. This is the part that I feel most people don’t really do. When we start to doubt ourselves, it can be difficult to take a step back and realise that it’s not some spell cast onto our mind but a thought that we let to expand and consume our entire headspace.
But that’s what it is — self-doubt is something that we allow to happen to us. If we recognise this whenever it strikes, all we need to do is (1) pause, reevaluate and if necessary, reposition, and (2) turn off the alarm.
She’s doing well… why am I not?
My wife is a freelance makeup artist who is doing quite well considering how short it’s been since she started down this path. It’s only been four months and she’s having an average of 2–3 gigs per week!
I’m extremely proud of her achievements, and am sure she will go far with this (I can tell she absolutely loves making people feel beautiful). I’m of course also glad that the money she’s making, combined with our Airbnb hosting arrangement, is keeping our tiny boat afloat.
But if I’m honest to myself, I’d have to admit that her early success sometimes adds to my self-doubt. Fact is, she’s doing well and I’m not. Not yet. I think. Not sure if this will ever pay off… hopefully this isn’t a huge mistake…
Off!
Thing is, most of the time, you’re probably just overly anxious. I know that’s the problem with me. And the best solution I’ve found is to learn to recognise it for what it is, know how to operate the switch, and dash onward by doing more work.
One coding challenge on FreeCodeCamp and one article per day is measly, but if I keep at it, it’s still 30 steps in the direction I want to go by the end of the month.
A day spent being defeated by self-doubt, on the other hand, is a day wasted with not a piece of work done.
(* ‘work for yourself’ is in inverted commas because I find that it sounds a lot more narcissistic than it actually means. All it really means is to not be working under an organisation owned by someone else.)
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